


Welcome to Oneshots

by demiboy_demon



Category: Night Vale - Fandom, Welcome to Night Vale, wtnv
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2019-10-07 00:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17355221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demiboy_demon/pseuds/demiboy_demon





	1. Cecil’s Biscuits

Carlos wasn't expecting Cecil to make dinner. He assumed they would buy some frozen macaroni and beetles or something. But Cecil did make dinner. He was standing over the stove, putting ingredients in a bowl.  
"Hey, Cecil." Carlos said. "What are you making?"  
"I'm making a family favorite."  
"Neat. Who taught you the recipe?"  
"Old Mee Maw Cecil. She was a kind woman, albeit not too bright. She had a restaurant. Cecil's Biscuits. People would come from miles around just to taste her food."  
Carlos turned his head. "Your grandmother was named Cecil?"  
"Who else would I be named after?"  
"I don't know. I didn't think you were named after anyone."  
"Yeah, Mee Maw Cecil ran Cecil's Biscuits. She never served biscuits. Only sweet pumpkin soup with extra metal shavings and organically grown salted caramel."  
"Then why did she call it Cecil's Biscuits?"  
"That was her full name. Cecil 'S Biscuits. It's French."  
"Her middle name was 'S?"  
"Yes. And she died doing what she loved. Force feeding people soup. Delicious soup. The salted caramel is organic."


	2. Angels & Demons

Cecil twirled the flower between his fingers. Despite being a demon, Cecil genuinely enjoyed the small, happy, delicate things life had to offer. He enjoyed going on walks and baking muffins. He enjoyed prank calling his brother in law and helping the old human next to the cave Cecil lived in. Sometimes she would affectionately call him 'Angel,' but she couldn't be more wrong. Actually, humans were wrong about a lot of things. Demons weren't bad as much as mildly unpleasant. They wouldn't torture you, just leave lint on your floor, strategically placed, so you would later mistake it for a spider. Demons would never gouge your eyes out. But they would occasionally replace your contact solution with breath drops. They weren't the most evil creatures, but they also weren't the most kind or loving creatures. 

Carlos was an angel. He was a wonderful person, and he almost always did the right thing. He hated it. Be polite this, do good that, Carlos was sick of it. What he wouldn't give to steal someone's mail or scratch a CD. To let his dog poop in his neighbor's yard and to just walk way. Carlos yearned for the day he would steal someone's pen or hair tie. But in his heart, he knew this day would never come. Carlos was an angel, and he had to act like one. He looked at the pictures engraved in his wall and sighed. In every angel's home, there were murals on a wall. Something having to do with angel history. On Carlos's wall was a depiction of an angel fighting a demon, slowly pushing him back into his cave. Carlos was not a fan of this picture, but angels didn't complain. 

There was no way all demons were bad, right? Carlos figured that if he was an angel who didn't want to help, there had to be demons who didn't want to hurt. Good demons. Maybe Carlos could find one of these good demons. After he was done with his job. 

Carlos worked on Earth. This meant he often flew down to the green and blue planet. Well, not down, but... sideways. Sort of diagonally. Angels lived in another, brighter universe. There were lots of deer. Carlos didn't get why. Deer were cool, but not that cool. Other angels liked deer way more than he did.

Today his job was to help an old lady by curing whatever flu she had. Carlos was no good at fixing big injuries or illnesses, just colds and sprained wrists. The woman would later pin her quick recovery on how much soup she had eaten, or how many cough drops she had used. She would have no idea. 

Or, that's what was supposed to happen. What really happened was a different thing altogether. Another person was already there with her. Carlos could tell that he was an eternal being by the glowing eye print on his forehead. The man's eye print was red. He was demon.   
"Just a moment, Ms. Marigold. I have to... go."   
The man stood up and marched over to Carlos. 

"What are you doing here?"   
"What am I doing here? I'm here to heal this old woman. What are you doing here?"  
"I live in that cave over there. I fought off the flu spirits before they could even start infecting her!"  
"Oh. You weren't hurting her?"  
"You angels, thinking you're so great because you heal people and pick flowers. Well, so do we."    
"Oh."   
"Yeah. I'm polite as fuck."  
"Oh. Sorry."  
"Yeah. Anyway, do you want to come have some tea? It tastes terrible. I ran out of peppermint tea and spearmint just isn't the same. But I also have shot glasses full of olive oil, if that's more to your liking."

"This olive oil is splendid." Carlos said, sipping his olive oil.   
"It's extra virgin, first cold press. I stole it from this guy in West Virginia."  
"Stealing's wrong."  
"And?"  
"And you shouldn't do it."  
"You shouldn't be having drinks with a demon right now. Yet here you are."  
"You make a good point."  
"Do you maybe want to hang out more in the future? I could teach you how to be more fun and less, you know, angelic and good."   
Carlos smiled. "I'd like that."


	3. College AU

Cecil  
"Shut up!" Cecil groaned to his alarm clock. He rolled out of bed (quite literally. He plopped onto the floor in a burrito blanket.) and into the bathroom, sticking his head under the faucet. He let the water run over his teeth, not wanting to take the energy to brush them. He grabbed a granola bar and dashed out the door.

When Cecil reached campus, granola bar now eaten, he bumped into his least favorite person.  
"Hey, Cecil!" Steve smiled. "How are you doing? I'm happy to see you!"  
"Fuck off, Carlsberg!" Cecil shouted.  
"Okay, hope you have a good day, friend!" Steve waved and walked away. What an asshole.

Cecil was still grumbling about Steve after his morning classes. He couldn't believe the nerve of that guy. 'Hey, Cecil. Have a nice day, Cecil. I love you, Cecil.' What an absolute jerk. He couldn't believe that wretched excuse for a man wou— "Oh, sorry!" Cecil didn't even realized he had bumped into someone. The other, shorter,  man looked at him. He had skin like cinnamon, teeth like a military cemetery, and, oh god, that hair. His hair was the most beautiful thing Cecil had ever seen. Dark and curly, parted slightly to the left. It covered the tips of his glasses just slightly, perfectly framing his gorgeous brown eyes. They were the color of amber forever frozen in time, just as Cecil would be if he allowed himself to get lost in those eyes. He was wearing a white lab coat with a green shirt underneath.   
"Oh, darn." His voice was smooth, yet oaky. Cecil found it highly erotic.  
"I'm so sorry!" Cecil said when he saw the other man had dropped some test tubes. There was nothing in the test tubes, but he still felt bad. He helped pick up the test tubes.  
"Thanks." The beautiful man smiled. "I'm Carlos, by the way."  
"Neat." Cecil responded. Ugh. Neat. How embarrassing. Carlos just smiled with his gorgeous teeth and walked away with his test tubes.

"Hello, students of Huntokar University! Today and tomorrow only, all T-shirts in the campus store are 10% off. This Friday is the big game. Huntokar U is playing against the Glow Cloud Academy. We're going to crush them. We will dye our nails red with their blood. We will use their hair to weave our rugs! We will destroy them! They will never again be able to see the sun without remembering the day we crushed them! The day we shattered their dreams! The day we rose victorious. In other news, the library is opening back up this Thursday. No more studying in your dorms, it's time to relax on the refurbished sofas, write an essay in the natural sunlight, or browse amongst the shelves filled with classic novels, textbooks, and latest releases. It sounds like a fun time. This ad was brought to you by The Distant Prince Library." Cecil stepped away from the microphone and sighed contently. He loved being the voice of Huntokar University, knowing that all the lives on campus would be touched at least slightly by his announcements. He figured everyone needed to know about current events, and he had great school spirit. Just yesterday he had gotten into a fist fight because someone said "I wish our school was better about student loans. I'm gonna be dead before I pay these off." And Cecil was like "We have no flaws!" Cecil figured the other person was to blame for that. He was only defending his honor.

Carlos  
Carlos knew he had driven home, but didn't quite remember it. He was too busy thinking of the guy he met earlier. Carlos wasn't sure how to describe him. He hadn't told Carlos his name. But he seemed neat. Carlos was still thinking about the slightly mysterious man when he made dinner. He was still thinking of him when he was attacked by his six hungry cats. He was still thinking of him when he went to sleep, closing his eyes so to not have to acknowledge the black nothing that lie above him, hidden only by a roof and the pain of existence. 

"Give it back, Nilanjana!" Carlos whined. One of his lab partners was holding an important scientific tool above her head, knowing that Carlos was short and couldn't reach.   
"Nope! Not until you tell me the name of the guy you met!" She teased, raising her arm even higher. Carlos really hated being short sometimes. His mom called him her 'little tiny science boy' and he hated it. It was redundant. Little and tiny? Ugh, get a grip, mom.   
"I don't know his name!" Carlos said, climbing atop the table.   
"Uh huh." Nilanjana said, obviously not convinced. "And what did he look like? I mean, you have to remember that."   
"Um..." Carlos said, now on the table, not that Nilanjana seemed to notice. "He was neither tall nor short, neither fat nor thin, and his eyes were a beautiful shade of violet."  
"What else? You've got to remember something else. I mean, y—" Carlos grabbed the device. Take that, tall people.

Carlos sat down on his bed and groaned. He was still miffed from the day he'd had. Don't get him wrong, he adored Nilanjana, Luisa and Mark, his lab partners, but they could be a bit much. I mean, all Luisa wanted to do was experiment on potatoes. Mark, his lab partner and roommate, was a sound terminologist, and he was very vocal about it. Seriously, he would not shut up about not shutting up. He loved sound and noise so much that he wanted to both study and make it. Carlos didn't get why they would want to do those things. He just studied science. But to each their own, he supposed. And Nilanjana, like him, was studying science, but she was so damn tall. She was almost a foot taller than Carlos, and she loved to remind him of this fact. A good thing was that in the science field, (you know, the study of science.) his 'problems' weren't problems at all. He had Aspergers, which made life harder sometimes, but he was really smart and loved science. He could hyper-focus on it for days. But potatoes? Noise? Ugh. Why would anyone devote their lives to that?

Carlos had no idea who the purple-eyed man was, and no idea if and where he would see him again, but he decided to practice flirting anyway.  
"So.." Carlos asked, "You come here often?" He grinned and blinked seductively. He was trying to wink, but he couldn't. He was, after all, a scientist, not a winker. His reflection didn't respond. He was being ridiculous. He didn't even know the man's name, much less where he would see him again. Plus, blinking isn't sexy.

Cecil  
Cecil could not think of anything sexier than blinking. Think about it, you're lowering your eyelids and moistening your eyeballs. What could be hotter? Cecil wasn't sure why he was thinking of this when he was making lunch. It just kinda popped into his mind, and he wasn't one to chase away thoughts. He wouldn't want to be chased away while doing his job, and, probably, neither did the thoughts. He wouldn't want to intrude. He wasn't sure if thoughts themselves were sentient. He was not a philosopher, he was a journalist and a cat lover. Sometimes he felt as if he was more doubt than he was man. But not right now, because he had no doubt in this mind that cats were amazing. 

"Hello, listeners of Huntokar University. Tonight is the biannual midnight shriek. To everyone who doesn't plan on going in on the fun and screaming desperately into the merciless void that we call the sky; Please wear earplugs. It's going to be a wild night. In other news, Steve Carlsberg is still a pretentious jerk. As today's a low news day, we're going to cut this short. Please enjoy an hour of pelicans screeching into large pools of blood flavored jelly. Brought to you by Lowe's. We kill your problems so you don't have to! Lowe's." Cecil stepped away from the mic so to not hear the birds. He didn't care for birds, mostly because Steve loved them. Anything Steve loved was obviously a demon in disguise. 

"Hey, Cecil! How are you doing today?" Steve's disgusting voice rang through Cecil's dorm. "What the fuck do you want, Steve Carlsberg?"   
Steve laughed, "Oh, Cecil. You're a hoot! Abby and I want to know how you're doing! Would you like to come over and play bunko?" Cecil shook his head. "You can't manipulate me into your clutch, you monster. You may have gotten my sister, but you won't get me. I will run you off the road and into a wall. I will literally kill you." Steve laughed again. "Good one, Cecil! You're hilarious. I'll tell Abby you're busy, have a good one!" Cecil hung up on him. What an idiot. He went into his bedroom and started shredding picture of Steve Carlsberg.   
"Dude." His roommate said. Nilanjana was standing in the doorway, judging Cecil not-so-silently. "Sorry, Nil. Steve was being an asshole." Nilanjana looked skeptical, but walked away nonetheless. 

Cecil didn't pay attention in his communication class. He was too busy thinking of Carlos. Cecil had never seen someone so beautiful. His eyes were nice, his skin was beautiful, his teeth were pretty. But his hair. Oh, god, Cecil loved that hair. It reminded him of spaghetti, just much darker, curlier, and made of hair. So maybe not so much like spaghetti, but, as was said previously, Cecil was not one to chase away thoughts.

Carlos  
Carlos groaned in frustration, an action he found himself doing quite often. He simply couldn't focus on what he didn't care about. Why should a scientist have to know grammar? He was fine with grammar, thank you very much. He put down his useless textbook and walked to the newly reopened campus library, determined to find something that might actually help him. Unfortunately, the library was not as helpful as he expected it to be. The grammar books were just as lame as his. So he decides to try and find the cute guy he had ran into. He went over to where they kept the year books and pulled out the most recent edition. Much to Carlos's surprise and enjoyment, he found the man's photo a few pages in. He was hiding in a tree with a hatchet. The caption read 'Cecil Palmer waits in a tree to attack Steve Carlsberg.' The next photo is presumably Steve Carlsberg, screaming as the cute one chases him with an axe. This caption said 'Steve Carlsberg didn't get stabbed, as much as we would all have enjoyed it if he did.' Dang. Carlos wondered who wrote this, and what Steve Carlsberg did to deserve such wrath. 

Although Steve was an interesting subject, Carlos would rather learn more about Cecil Palmer. The man who was willing to hide in tree to ward off attackers. How heroic. On the student helper page was Cecil's face. Carlos supposed other people's faces were there too, under library volunteers and stuff. But Cecil was, no doubt in Carlos's mind, the most amazing looking person on the page. Oooh, and he did the announcements and had a radio show. Carlos would have to listen to it sometime.

Carlos raced home to listen to Cecil's show. "Listeners," Cecil's melodic voice rang out through the dorm. Mark, who was both his lab partner and his roommate, was gone for the weekend, so Carlos had the radio on full volume. Yep, that was the voice Carlos had met. "Listeners, I have terrible news. Steve Carlsberg is still a dick. In other news, I hate peanut butter. Peanut butter is a dick. Not as much of a dick as Steve, but still. Ugh. Get a grip, buddy." Carlos wondered what Steve did to deserve this. Surely something terrible, based on how mad Cecil was.

The next day, Carlos ran into Steve Carlsberg. "Hello, friend!" He sounded nice, but Carlos knew the truth. Well, he didn't, but he wanted to. "Hey, Steve Carlsberg." Carlos said. Steve laughed. "Oh, you must've heard about me on Cecil's radio show. I usually don't tell people my last name. Cecil's fun. He jokes around, even if he hates me and tried to kill me, I love him." Carlos was confused. Steve seemed like a good-natured person. But then why did Cecil hate him so much? Maybe Cecil's judgement on this one situation was slightly flawed. I mean, Carlos had only met him once, and only for a few seconds. But maybe Carlsberg was the kind of person who was nice to you so you would tell him your secrets, then turned on you the second you were no longer useful. That seemed much more likely. "Why does Cecil hate you?" Carlos asked, figuring this would get to the bottom of it.   
"Oh." Apparently Steve was capable of frowning. Go figure. "I'm in love with his sister."   
"Oh! So you know Cecil personally. Can you introduce me to him please?"  
"Oh. Um... I can try, but like you said, he hates me." Carlos nodded. "Could you just give me his number?"

Later that day, Carlos stood next to his phone, glaring angrily. He grabbed his phone and threw it out the window, all while screaming "Fuck you, Steve!" He knew Steve wasn't technically to blame, but he still hated him. Who wouldn't?

Cecil  
Cecil was walking home, happy that everyone knew how terrible Steve was. Since his sister had started talking to Steve, she hadn't responded to any of Cecil's calls. She obviously liked Steve more than she liked Cecil, which was obviously Steve's fault. But that isn't the point. The bad news was, Cecil wasn't 100% sure what to point was. As he was flipping through the recently closed tabs in his brain, trying to figure out what he was thinking about the moment before, he heard a scream.  
"Fuck you, Steve!"  
"Amen!" Cecil shouted back. A cheap mobile phone flew out the window. Cecil's number was written on the screen. He walked into the building, up the stairs to where the dorm would be, as long as the building's layout was the same as his. The door should be this one, Cecil thought as he knocked. Anyone who hated Steve Carlsberg was a friend of his. Cecil was shocked when the man from earlier in the week opened the door.   
"Hi Carloooos!" Cecil squealed. Carlos looked confused.   
"What are you doing here?" Yep. His voice was just as cute (read: deeply erotic) as before. "Not that I mind. I was about to call you. You're Cecil, right? You tried to kill Steve with an axe?"  
"Yep." Cecil responded. He was so happy that that would be his legacy. "Speaking of Carlsberg, what an asshole, amirite? What did he do this time?"  
"Um," Carlos hesitated. "He killed a dog!"   
"WHAT?!"  
"No. He didn't. I panicked. He gave me your number so I could call you and I, once again, panicked. I'm quite skilled in the panicking department."  
"Wait.....Steve gave you my number? That's why it's typed on your phone. Hmph. That makes sense." Carlos gestures for Cecil to come in. 

"Sorry it's so messy. I recently practiced my science so it's kinda gross." Carlos said as they walked through the house. Cecil didn't understand why Carlos was embarrassed by the mess. He certainly wasn't in a place to judge, as his room was covered in shredded photos of Steve. Cecil shivered. He hated Steve. Plus, all that covered Carlos's apartment was green slime and Cheerios. Also, a bunch of feathers and painted rocks. And cats.  
"What kind of science do you do?" Cecil asked.  
"Oh." Carlos responded. "Science."  
"Neat. That's the best kind."

~Time Skip A Week Or So~

"Okay, okay." Cecil said to his boyfriend. "But my roommate is coming back at four, so we have to be fast."  
"Oh, I'm very fast." Carlos responded.

"Hey, I'm ba—" Nilanjana stopped abruptly. "Carlos?" She asked. Carlos was shocked, and he said so.  
"Nilanjana? I am shocked." Cecil just sat there, still holding his cards. Carlos was neither good nor fast when it came to cards. He also wasn't good with uncomfortable situations. His lab partner was his boyfriend's roommate. Go figure. He stood up and started walking toward the door, quickly breaking into a run, leaving Cecil in the situation alone.  
"So..... you're dating my friend." Nilanjana said. She said it more like a question, like she could barely believe that her roommate and lab-mate knew each other. Not only knew each other, but liked each other.   
"Wanna play go fish?" Cecil asked as Nilanjana shut her bedroom door.

Carlos  
Carlos ran from Cecil's (and apparently Nilanjana's) dorm and didn't stop until he was in his own, with the door shut and locked.  
"What's your deal?" Asked Mark.   
Carlos looked at him. "You know my boyfriend?" He asked. Mark nodded.   
"Cecil, right?"  
"Yeah. He's roommates with Nilanjana." Carlos was expecting an extreme reaction, but he didn't get one. Mark just said, "K." And walked to his room. Carlos hated when people said "K." K was for potassium, not conversion.

"Listeners," Carlos heard Cecil's voice say. "My roommate is my boyfriend's lab partner. I am shook. Oh, yeah, also, two Huntokar University students were recently killed by wild coyotes. But the roommate thing, right? I mean, who would guess? I just assumes there were two Carloses, because it's not an uncommon name, and Nilanjana worked with a different Carlos. It would make sense." Cecil paused. "Worlds colliding, listeners."

Cecil  
And, to be fair, worlds were colliding, but it was the smallest amount of drama Cecil had ever experienced. Through no fault of his own, he was often caught in uncomfortable situations. Like the time he attacked Steve. And the other time he attacked Steve. And the fifteen other times he tried to hurt Steve in some way. Cecil just naturally brought drama with him wherever he went. It was part of his charm. As a charming person, he flaunted this charm every chance he got.  
However, this was not one of those chances. Nilanjana and Carlos just kinda talked about it for a few minutes and moved on. What are the odds?  
________________________________  
And that's the end. I could go on, I suppose, but where would I stop? What really counts as the end? The day they graduate? The day they move in together? The day they wed? The birth of their first child? Their tenth anniversary? Their child's graduation? Their deaths? Their rebirths? Their first encounter in next lives? 

What I'm trying to say is that this is where you stop hearing the story, but it's not where the story stops existing. Cecil and Carlos move on. Because we all do. That's life.


	4. Highly Erotic

It started an ordinary day, with Carlos doing science and Cecil reading a municipally approved book. "Hey, Cecil," Carlos started as he turned around. Cecil was still on their couch, but there was a moth flying near him. Cecil looked up to respond, but didn't. He was distracted by the moth. He stuck out his unusually long purple tongue (only in Night Vale.) and snapped the bug out of the air. He swallowed and looked back to his husband, who was smirking seductively. "Did you find that highly erotic?" Carlos did not. He shook his head no. Cecil shrugged and said with a casual tone, "Hmm. Oh well."


	5. Jealousy

Carlos had had a long day. First this lab partner was sick, so he had to work extra hard to file the reports on time, then this. 

He walked in his home and smiled. Earl and Cecil were cooking. Carlos was so happy that Cecil had a platonic relationship with such a great person. That was, until Earl said, "Hey, Carlos. I was just teaching your husband the science of cooking!" The science of cooking? THE SCIENCE OF COOKING?!!?!?!? How freaking dare he? 

Carlos was mad. How dare he do this? He was mad at Cecil. He was mad at Earl. He was mad at himself. So, he did what any sensible person would do. He grabbed a knife and lunged at Earl as his husband screamed.

"Wooo! Yeah! Scientist fight!" Cecil cheered.   
"Earl is not a scientist!" Carlos responded as he chased Earl around with his make shift sword. Earl grabbed an axe that was lying around (they use it to kill nightmares.) and fought Carlos with it. Carlos dodged and ducked. Earl bobbed and slashed. This was a metaphorical and literal bloodbath.

So they agreed that Cecil wouldn't do science with anyone else. He was happy to agree, after all, he wouldn't want Carlos  to hang out with another radio show host. He said this to Carlos, and guilt spread across his face as Carlos remembered the year he spent in the desert otherworld.


	6. Snake

"I had a friend when I was younger, but he was an ass. Seriously, worse than Steve. Okay, that's unfair, not quite as bad as Steve, but still. So I put a snake in his shoe. He's dead now." Cecil reminisced.  
"Because of the snake?"  
"No, Carlos. Because this was in the 1720's and he was taken by the grand council. Also, because of the snake."  
"Did you kill him?"  
"Define kill. I mean, we're all slowly dying. I simply sped up the process."  
"How old are you?" Carlos asked.  
"I don't know." Cecil admitted. "But probably like 20 or 70 or 900 or something." Carlos nodded, apparently satisfied with this answer.   
"Yeah," Cecil continued. "I don't even know what I look like, with the mirror thing and all."   
"You look beautiful." Carlos said, watching Cecil blush. Cecil was usually the one to make Carlos blush, but not today. And, to be fair, anyone would blush if their boyfriend talked about them on air for all of the city to hear. The buildings kept teasing him about it on the way to work. He swore to himself that as soon as the house across the street got a girlfriend, he would get his revenge. 

"Anyway..." Cecil continued, his face still flushed. "What were you going to ask me?"   
"Oh!" Carlos remembered. He held up a test tube full of thick, green liquid. "What do you think?"

-Time Skip-

"No, Maureen, you've got to try it."  
"Sorry, man. I don't like green goo before one pm." Maureen responded.   
Cecil shoved it toward her. "At least smell it. Please?" By the way he stretched of the 'e' in please, you would think he was a child. But Maureen gave in and took a sniff. She recoiled at the acrid scent. "What's in this?"  
"Parsley, avocado, melted plastic cups, almonds, vanilla, and peanuts. It's very healthy."  
"I was gonna say quit when you're ahead," Said the intern, "But you're already so far behind, that I'm just going to say quit when you're slightly less far behind then you will be in 10 minutes."


	7. Stop Falling In Love With the Test Subjects, Carlos

"I love you." Carlos said nervously. He felt concern, fear that Cecil wouldn't love him back. But Cecil did love him back.  
"I love you, too."

Carlos disappeared about two weeks later.  
It was very unfortunate. Cecil grieved his boyfriend's disappearance alongside Carlos's family. But no matter how much they wept, Carlos was gone.

-Time Skip a Few Years-  
"Carlos. Carlos, please. Please, don't do this, I-" Cecil cut himself off with a scream. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was Carlos's face. 

Cecil awoke in a dark cell with two other people with him. "He's awake." The younger one said, walking toward him. She held out her hand, "I'm Tamika. And you're our ticket out of here."  
"Actually," Cecil responded, "I'm Cecil." A laugh rang through the small room. The woman who had not yet spoken stepped forward. "Well, Cecil. Let me fill you in." She sat next to him and started explaining. "A few years ago, I'm not sure how many, time is a blur, your precious Carlos was captured by Strexcorp."   
"Oh yes. What's wrong with Carlos? He seems.... mean, to say the least."  
"I'm getting to that." The old woman shushed Cecil. "They took him and they brainwashed him."   
"They tried to brainwash all of us." Tamika said. "But Josie and I weren't as gullible as him. They told him it was for the greater good. They told him they would hurt you. They told him he could help people, that by hurting a few, he would save millions."  
"Aw! My Carlos is helping people. By torturing them. So, um, yeah." Cecil looked from one side to another. "That sucks."

 

Carlos looked around his lab. Something was off about today. One of his subjects..... they looked familiar. Their eyes seemed more real than the others'. They brought up memories. Oh, god. He... he knew him. Cecil. Memories came rushing into his head. Visions. It was as if thousands of angels saw a window cracked open and took the opportunity to make him relive everything that happened. He remembered everything he had been forced to forget. 

People.

These were people he was working with. How could he have not seen it sooner? Was it the drugs Strexcorp had pushed on him? Did his desire to help others become so strong that he didn't care how many were hurt, as long as the end result was better? Was he so disassociated that he didn't realize what he was doing? Or worse, did he realize what he was doing and not care? Did he know he was hurting people and just feel indifferent? Was he a monster?

Carlos couldn't think about it now. All he could think about were the memories. Memories of love and heartbreak. Memories of sadness, anger, fear, and joy. He hadn't felt any emotion in years. The pills they gave him were supposed to limit unnecessary emotions. He was hesitant at first. But then he started taking them with the understanding he could stop whenever he wanted. As soon as the meds kicked in, Carlos felt nothing. Nothing but a longing for knowledge. He was, in a way, a robot.

He remembered the day it all started. He woke up in a room with off-white walls. It was a sciencey room, large but bleak. A projector was sitting on a small table, but that was all. Well, other than the hard, plastic chair Carlos was sitting in. He tried to stand up, but he was handcuffed to the chair.  
"Ah! Mr..... I don't have a last name for you." A voice said from behind him. "What's your last name?"   
"Where am I and what do you want from me?"  
"I want your last name."  
"My last name is The-Scientist. What's going on?" The man didn't answer, but he did walk into Carlos's line of sight. He was a tall, thin man with angry eyes. He walked over to the projector and turned it on. The first slide showed a young girl being carried on the shoulders of her presumed mother. "Strexcorp is a nonprofit organization that helps people." The man had said. Carlos waved his hand for him to keep going. "We gather information about the world and apply it to real life problems. Say, for instance," Another slide replaces the first, "You we're stuck in a snake pit. You would die." Then the man just stared at Carlos for a moment. "Is there any more to this scenario?" Carlos asked, not wanting to die in a snake pit. That was his boyfriend's dream death, not his.   
"No. Unless you join us. We just want to gather information. To help people. Sure, a few people might feel bad, but it's for the greater good."  
"No one has ever said that and had good intentions." Carlos pointed out.   
"Perhaps." The man said, "But all these people are happy to help. They're more than willing to donate their lives to such a worthy cause!"   
"I don't feel comfortable helping you."   
"Just take a few days to decide. I'll show you to where you'll be staying."

After a few days, he had forgotten about Cecil and his family. He had a tendency to get so absorbed in his work that he forgot about anything else. He also had a tendency to believe others had good intentions.   
He eventually forgot about every aspect of his old life. Thinking about nothing but science will do that to you. He forgot that these were people, not just tools at his disposal. And he truly thought he was working for the greater good. A few people were nothing if he could save millions. He could find cures, and his boss said these people consented to the experiments, and he wasn't sure why they were acting like they didn't. He wasn't even sure what he was looking to cure, but he thought he was helping. And now that he realized the truth of his work, he wanted to cry. But now was not the time for crying. Now was the time to plan a jailbreak. Right his past wrongdoings. Free the prisoners and take down Strexcorp. 

It would take him a few days to formulate a plan that would actually work. He had to make the other Strexcorp people think he was still under their spell. And after he saved Cecil, how could he save the other prisoners? Would they even trust him? No. They wouldn't. He would have to earn their trust, which would be hard, considering he hadn't thought for himself in years before this morning. 

Carlos stayed up all night formulating a plan. He would collect as many people as possible and then just run. It wasn't a good plan, but he had worked hard on it. He was a scientist, not a planner. He hoped it would work.

"So how am I your ticket out of here?" Cecil asked, willing to help, but unsure of what to do.  
"We need three people for the plan," Josie said, "You and I will creep down this hall, into a large vent. Then we'll cross the hallway, into another vent, and outside. Then we sneak aboard a truck and bam! We're free."  
"This seems weirdly convenient. And why does it need three people?"  
"Two of us are for moral support. Duh."   
"But what about-" Cecil didn't finish. He was interrupted by a noise. The turning of a key, and a voice.   
"I'm here to break you out." Carlos's voice said, unlocking the cell and opening the door.   
Tamika's fist connected with his jaw. He tried to dodge her punch, but he simply wasn't fast enough. "Yeah. I deserved that." Carlos murmured. "Kinda had it coming."

They slinked down the hallway, and were crawling into the vent when he arrived. Kevin. Carlos's boss, the tall man with angry eyes. Only Tamika had entered the vent. Only one would escape tonight. 

The group was surrounded and forced into Kevin's office.   
"Why? Why do you do this?" Carlos asked. But he knew the answer. The horrible thing was, it was not a good answer. This, the experiments, the knowledge, the pain. It was all a game to them.   
"I think you know why, Carlos." Kevin said. "Because you're just like us." Kevin watched Carlos's face contour with anger. "Yeah. It's hard to hear because you know it's true. You know you're one of us. Sure, the drugs and manipulation helped, but you already had this greatness inside you. It just needed a way to break free. And we gave you that reason. You should be grateful."  
"You used my ambition and intelligence for evil. You knew I wanted to help people and you drugged and tricked me. I will never thank you for that."   
"Oh well." Kevin said, shrugging. "Lauren! I'm done with them. For now."  
A tall woman with an inhuman smile walked through the door. Carlos, Cecil, and Josie were doomed. 

She walked over to them and roughly grabbed Carlos's wrist. As she led him away, a small ball of anger leaped through the air and onto Lauren.   
"Tamika?" Cecil lunged and bit Kevin, teeth sinking until he heard the satisfying crunch of weak bone. Kevin screamed. Carlos stabbed Lauren with Kevin's letter opener. Josie kicked Kevin repeatedly in the crotch. 

If you had asked Cecil what had happened, he would have shrugged and said simply, "Scientist fight." And many people would be asking, because the evil scientists were dead. But the team's adventure was not done.   
Carlos and Cecil ran down one hall as Tamika and Josie ran down the other. They were going to fee all the prisoners. Carlos used his security card to open cells and Cecil told people which way to run. 

Josie had prayed to the angels for this day. "Erika," She had muttered every morning, "Please let us kick some Strexcorp butt." 

And that's what they did. 

The escaped prisoners piled into cars. People who knew how to drive drove themselves and their cellmates far away from the Strexcorp facilities. 

 

"Can you ever forgive me?" Carlos asked, holding Cecil's hand and trying to block out yesterday's events. They had gotten back to their town, far from Strexcorp's rein, and almost everyone had been reunited with their families.   
"Carlos," Cecil sighed. "Of course I can forgive you. I lov— I mean, you're a good person who made some mistakes." Although he didn't finish his 'I love you,' Carlos knew what he meant. Life was tough, but they would fight through it together.


	8. Threats

"If you hurt Cecil, I will kill you." Old woman Josie said before patting Carlos's shoulder and walking away. This was the fifth time today he had been threatened. Janice was incredibly scary when she wanted to be. And don't get him started on Tamika Flynn. That girl was terrifying. 

Carlos didn't get why anyone thought he would hurt Cecil. He was a 4'11 guy with good hair. He didn't think he could hurt anyone even if he wanted to. Maybe he could conjure up some science machine to hurt someone, but he would never hurt Cecil. Carlos loved Cecil. But ever since Cecil had announced on the radio that he and Carlos were together, people had been approaching Carlos and saying things like   
"Cecil is a good person. If you aren't, you're going to get an axe in the head."   
That particular threat was from LeAnn Hart, who really liked putting axes in people's heads.

But Carlos decided it was worth all the threats, as long as he got to be with Cecil. They were going to get dinner together tonight. Nilanjana has been teasing him about it all day. Carlos picked out his fanciest lab coat and started walking to his date. 

Cecil reached his hand across the table, holding onto Carlos's. "I'm holding your hand for strictly scientific reasons."   
"Of course. Science is important."  
"Not as important as you."  
"I appreciate the sentiment, but it is incorrect."  
"You're incorrect."  
"No, you're incorrect."  
"You're incorrect."  
"No, you're incorrec- oh." Carlos said, interrupting their playful banter. "Earl, how long have you been standing there?"  
"Long enough. What will you two be having?"


	9. Desperate

Carlos took a deep breath. He looked around his lab. He looked at his lab partners, Ricardo, Daniel, and Fran. He waved to them politely, but he didn’t know them. They weren’t Nilanjana, Mark and Luis. 

 

He looked at the chalk board on the wall, covered in notes that wasn’t in any sort of recognizable language. The only word he could vaguely recognize was, ‘Cacophony,’ And even that looked to be misspelled. 

 

Carlos didn’t mind these things too much. After all, weirder things had happened in this quint desert community. But there were some things that he minded a lot. 

 

For example, there was no dog park. It had simply vanished overnight. When he asked someone about it, they looked confused and yelled, ‘Interloper!’ at him, even though Carlos had lived here for six years, and was hardly an interloper anymore. 

 

Everyone seemed to have forgotten the dog park except him. Carlos wondered why this could be. Had a vague, yet menacing government agency done something to the town? If so, why hadn’t it affected him? 

 

Carlos walked around town, wondering this, among other questions. He walked past Big Rico’s, which he could have sworn was on the other side of the street yesterday, next to his lab. Inside was a man Carlos had never seen before. 

 

He walked down the street that was once called Summer Street, now called Leopard Boulevard, and up the stairs to his house. He put his key in the lock to open it, but the knob didn’t turn, and the door didn’t open. 

 

Carlos shook his head and took out his phone. Cecil’s number wasn’t in there for some reason, but luckily, Carlos knew it by heart. 

 

“Hello, Cecil Palmer here.” Cecil’s voice said from Carlos’s phone. 

 

“Hey, Cecil.” Carlos said. “Something weird is happening today. Not normal weird, either, but, like, super weird.”

 

There was silence on the other side for a moment before Cecil asked, “Who is this?”

 

“Um, this is Carlos the scientist. Do you not have my number saved?” Carlos laughed. “Don’t worry, you were deleted from my phone too for some reason. I think it had to do with everyone forgetting stuff.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Cecil said. “I don’t know a Carlos. And what’s this about forgetting?”

 

“You.... don’t know a Carlos? Babe, I’m your husband.” Carlos said, sounding a little more desperate than he had at the beginning of the call.

 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have a husband. You know, prank calls aren’t very polite.”

 

“Cecil, Honey, what are you talking about? We’ve been married for two years now. We just got a dog. We... we had started talking about kids.”

 

“That’s quite enough from you, Mister Prank Caller!” Cecil snapped though the phone. “I am a professional radio show host! My job is important, and I am therefore very busy. I don’t have time for prank calls from teenagers who think it’s funny to be rude.”

 

“You really don’t remember,” Carlos whispered, just loud enough for Cecil to hear, but not loud enough for Cecil to care. 

 

After Cecil had hung up, Carlos had just stood there for a moment, staring at the key in his hand, staring at the door that would not open for him, staring at the home that he and Cecil had shared in another life.

 

“That’s it!” Carlos said, snapping his fingers. “I must be trapped in another timeline, like Desert Bluffs.” Carlos shivered at the thought of that blood-covered city that had once been ruled by Strexcorp. 

 

Carlos raced down to his lab and was both surprised and relieved to see that there was no one else there. He was less relieved, though just as surprised, when he saw a container of pens sitting on one of the other scientist’s desk. 

 

“Pens must be allowed in this reality,” Carlos mused as he pulled a humming scientific device from a cabinet. “Sounds dangerous. I’m glad this isn’t  my  reality.”

 

He pressed some buttons on the device, hoping for results on what had happened to make his realities change, or what he could do to get back, but the device didn’t answer his questions. 

 

After days of inconclusive research, Carlos was close to giving up. None of the other scientists knew what he was talking about, Cecil wasn’t answering his calls, and he hadn’t gotten a single result as to why this was happening. 

 

From what he could  tell, this  was  his reality. Something had just happened that made everything different. 

 

He decided to call Cecil again. He figured it couldn’t hurt. “Hey, Cecil,” Carlos said into the phone. “I think you’ve probably blocked my number by now, because, well, in your reality, this reality, you don’t know me. But I know you, and I’m wondering if you want to go out for dinner tonight? We could go to Gino’s. It’s where we went for our first date in my reality, and since I’m starting to think that this might be the same reality, just switched up a bit, maybe we could go there? I’m starting to ramble. Sorry, I’ll let you get back to your work. Getting the news to the public and all that. Bye.”

 

Carlos was surprised when Cecil texted him back.

 

Cecil: Hi, I got your message. I’d love to go out tonight, but since it’s the first date, how about somewhere more casual than Gino’s? Big Rico’s has a Street Cleaning Day special, since it’s such a joyous occasion.

 

Carlos laughed at the idea of a good Street Cleaning Day, but he didn’t tell Cecil that. He just agreed that Big Rico’s was a good choice. 

 

 

To say that the date went poorly was, in scientific terms, an understatement.

 

Carlos cried himself to sleep in the lab that night. In the morning, he called Cecil. He knew that it wasn’t a good idea to call, and it was an even worse idea to not plan what he was going to say. But he didn’t know what else to do, so he went with his bad idea.

 

“Cecil,” Carlos started. He decided to go with a phrase that meant so much to him in his original timeline. “I- I’m calling for personal reasons. I’m calling to tell you that I love you.” 

 

Carlos rambled about their life for a moment. “And we have- Oh. You’re going to play this on the air, aren’t you?” He sighed and started talking again. 

 

“Oh, god. This must sound crazy, you barely know me and, and I’m coming off as desperate, but it’s because I am. Please call me.” 

 

Carlos hung up the phone and started crying. He had been so lonely in Night Vale before Cecil, but then he and Cecil fell in love, and he wasn’t alone anymore. 

 

Things were never perfect, but he had always had Cecil, and Cecil had always had him, and they were in love and together and now.... now they weren’t. 

 

Carlos’ phone rung. He looked at the screen. “Cecil?” He answered.

 

“I love you too.” Cecil said through the phone. “Babe, I love your beard. I love our dog. I love- I love our life together.”

 

Carlos was overjoyed. His tears of anguish turned to those of joy, and he cried into the phone. “Oh, god. Cecil, I was so scared. I was so scared you wouldn’t remember.”

 

“I remember now,” Cecil assured him, “I’ll be at your lab in a few minutes, I’m doing the weather now, and then I’ll end the show and I’ll be there.”

 

Carlos nodded, which Cecil could hear through the phone, because this was Night Vale. This was Carlos’ Night Vale. It was weird and creepy and amazing and Carlos wouldn’t trade it for anything.

 

Later, Cecil apologized for not remembering. Carlos nuzzled his head against Cecil’s chest. 

 

“Don’t worry.” Carlos responded, “I’ve already forgotten.”


End file.
